Consent in Ireland

Thank you to the Rape Crisis Network of Ireland for calling on your country to redefine the word "consent" to help survivors have a better chance in seeking justice through the courts. Unfortunately, much of our world forgets that consent means permission. To get permission to do most things in life, everyone knows they must ask. Yet, most legal systems fail to acknowledge the importance of "asking first" with one of life's precious gifts -- intimacy.

In a report published today (according to the "Irish Examiner"), the RCNI said just 1% of sexual violence cases were currently ending in a prosecution. While our world continually agrees rape is a haneous crime, people and governments need to start doing MORE to back those words.

The Holiday Break

Great to be back after 2 weeks away from everyone here in the online world. Each year, I take the 2 weeks after my traveling from speaking is completed to "refresh." Hope you all had and continue to have a wonderful "HOLIDAY SEASON"!!

Gabriel's Story Becomes Documentary

Gabriel, a survivor in Voices of Courage, is currently being featured in a documentary at Santa Clara University -- to be debuted on December 7th. The documentary takes a close look at Gabriel's personal experience of being a survivor, including his involvement in Voices of Courage. Gabriel, thank you for your strength in sharing your journey with the world!!

Congratulations to Donna

Donna, one of the survivors in "Voices of Courage: Inspiration from Survivors of Sexual Assault" (website www.voicesofcourage.com) has been recognized with the "Voices of Courage" Award from the organization Darkness2Light. (website http://www.darkness2light.com/ ). The award recognizes Donna's participation in the training film "Stewards of Children." Since August 2004, this training film has trained over 5,000 adults in child abuse prevention. The award is given to those who have the heart to step forward and bring the topic of child sex abuse to the forefront. Past recipients were Marilyn Van Debur(former Mrs. America), Eve Ensler (Vagina Monologues), Ann Heche, John Wlash, Time, CNN, Young/Rubicam advertising, and others.

You can read Donna's incredible journey of survival and helping others in "Voices of Courage" (click here to learn how to get the book).

CONGRATULATIONS, DONNA!!!! You deserve the recognition. Your courage and strength is an inspiration to survivors throughout the world!!!

Bangkok Youth Turned Off By Sexual Violence

In a recent online "Bangkok Post" newspaper article, a study among youth "revealed that nearly 80% of respondents found sex abuse and rape scenes on television to be the most unacceptable broadcast content . . ." We can certainly hope our youth would answer the same.

Females Speak Out Against Abercrombie & Fitch

Please spread the word about the The Allegheny County Girls as Grantmakers -- who are taking action to speak out against the messages on T-shirts sold by Abercrombie and Fitch. You can read their statement by clicking on the folowing link:

http://www.wfnet.org/news/story.php?story_id=294

If you work with students, think about how you can get the males and females in your school to take a positive stand against Abercrombie and Fitch (and other companies who use inappropriate sexual/degrading messages to sell their products and services).

Corporate Advertisers -- Who Does It Right?

Which corporate advertisers who you feel do a great job of advertising to youth without using sex or degradation to sell their products/services? For instance, the cologne "Axe" clearly uses sexuality (inappropriate sexuallity -- including older women appearing to sexually seduce high school age males) to sell their product. At the same time, Apple's I-Pod appears to use music, dancing, and fun without sex. Could Apple have their dancers on skates appearing to be sexually assertive? Yes, but they choose not to and their product sells incredibly well.

Please share which companies advertise the best to youth without using "sex" and which companies you feel use "sex" too much or in an inappropriate manner by e-mailing info@thedatesafeproject.org.

As we compile the answers, we will research the feedback and announce a "Top 5 Advertisers for Youth in 2005" as the New Year's celebrations approach -- when most "2005 Top . . ." lists are announced.

Sexual Assault Awareness Posters

For those of you who have been awaiting the new poster series stressing "Asking First," the final stages are moving along nicely. Once we have complete rights to all of the images (this process has been the biggest time consuming element), the posters will be made readily available. The goal is to have the posters available by the first of the year. The posters are for high schools, colleges, and universities. They all promote a proactive approach to consent and sexual assault awareness.

Students in our prayers

Over the past year, I have been blessed to speak at the University of Southern Indiana twice. So when we saw the reports of the tornado hitting their region, our hearts and prayers went out to their community. This evening, we learned that some of their students were injured. Please keep these students in your prayers and thoughts.

Upcoming "Montel" show

Tuesday, November 8th, the "Montel" show will be featuring a truly dynamic and inspiring person -- Jennifer Stephens. Jennifer is a survivor of abuse (along with her 15 brothers and sisters). You can learn more at http://www.jenniferstephens.org. I have been blessed to meet Jennifer and she is an amazing survivor. Montel William will have Dave Pelzer on the show with Jennifer.

Sexual Assault -- Do You Have the Room?

One of the key factors in putting together a successful education program is the setting in which you are facilitating the session. To have a personal and intimate conversation, you need an atmosphere which feels "intimate" and personal. You want your audience to feel like they are "together" in the room. If you put 100 people in a 500 seat room, they will spread out and not feel "together" and so they will be much less likely to connect with each other. Without a connection, people are less likely to talk.

Likewise, you want to find a room with as few distractions as possible. For this reason, gymnasiums are horrible settings for talks. The "huge" open space of gyms cause people to look around. The seating is uncomfortable and so the audience is more likely to become antsy and want to move around. Plus, students are use to cheering and being rowdy in bleachers (not listening and/or opening up to personal concerns).

The idea setting? For a very small group (under 100 people), circle seating is great so that everyone feels like they can see each other. When anyone (the facilitator or the audience member) talks in a circle setting, those listening feel like the person is talking directly to them. A "personal" feel is your goal.

For larger groups, you want a room that barely has enough seating to fit everyone in. The more compact everyone is, the more the audience feels like they are "together" in the room. In tight spaces, funny moments are likely to draw large laughs because the "togetherness" will make people feel safer to laugh and have fun. During serious points of conversations, more people will speak up because they feel like they are surrounded by others who are "with them." Ideally, you want to be in an auditorium that fits the logistics we have just mentioned. An auditorium is ALWAYS better than a ballroom because an auditorium is designed to be focused on the stage (both visually and with hearing). Rarely does a ballroom have fantastic sound that is equal for the attendees in the front of the room as with the back of the room.

To help make the biggest impact on your audience, give your audience the setting most likely to encourage their involvement!!

Voices of Courage has World Premier

Last Thursday, the book "Voices of Courage: Inspiration from Survivors of Sexual Assault" was produced as a stage production in its world premiere at Northern Michigan University. Over 260 people filled the theatre to experience the powerful words of the survivors from "Voices of Courage." The feedback was outstanding!

In the coming months, this script will be packaged and made available for campuses throughout the country. Much like the "Vagina Monologues," campuses will be able to bring "Voices of Courage" to their campus to be performed by students and community members. PR & Marketing packets will be included in the purchase rights for the performance -- to help insure great attendance in every venue. Organizations and schools will be encouraged to utilize the stage production as a fund-raiser to support local sexual assault crisis centers. Everyone at The Date Safe Project is looking forward to the official day the script and packaging will be available. As soon as a date is confirmed, we will announce it immediately here on the blog.