Sex Ed and Sexual Assault

In the debate of abstinence verse comprehensive Sex Ed in a recent US & World News Report (Just Don't Do It! Kate Kelly, October 17), the one component missing from the conversation was the fact that the the majority of Sex Ed programs are leaving out the importance of teaching students to talk with one another - consent. If students were taught the importance of respecting their partner’s wishes and boundaries, you would see a decrease in risky sexual activities occurring.

What should and should not be covered in a public school Sex Edprogram may be a controversial topic, since public funding is involved. However, lessons on consent and 'asking first,' should be supported by parents and teachers on both sides of the argument.

When asked first, a partner who may be uncomfortable with a certain sexual activity will actually be given a choice and have the option to say, "No." This is a point both those believing in comprehensive sexual education and those who want abstinence-only programs should be able to agree on - respecting another person's choice and boundaries.

Everyone should want youth to respect their bodies and the bodies of their partners. And the key to insuring respect is ‘asking first' and then listening. Teenagers and college students repeatedly tell me that if they had to ask first, they would be more likely to realize the potentially dangerous consequences of their actions (the influence of alcohol, diseases, hook-ups, etc...). Students admit that 'asking first' would create safer dating environments and more respect among partners.

The discussion that needs to occur with Sex Ed is "When are we going to begin teaching students 'how to talk first' before engaging in sexual activity? When are we going to start teaching the importance of 'asking first' and then listening?" Both sides of the current debate want their views to be respected -- so lets start teaching our students how to respect boundaries and provide real choices when with their partners (both in dating and in marriage)!