Giving to Rape Crisis Centers and Shelters

With school back in for both universities and K12 school systems, you are probably noticing the huge increase in fund-raisers starting up. When someone asks you to purchase frozen pizza, magazines, books, and various other items -- ask yourself, "Could this stuff be utilized by a Women's Shelter or a Rape Crisis Center?" Even better, call the location and tell them you would like to donate through a local fund-raiser. Ask them what they would like. Often when it comes to fund-raisers, people tend to say, 'I don't really need that' and so they don't purchase anything. However, others do NEED supplies and appreciate receiving uplifting reading material. With magazine drives, youc an even renew the location's current subscriptions (on their behalf). Help your local resources by giving!!

"Give Students the Worst"

When working with students on sensitive issues (sexual assault, alcohol, and drugs), many educators make the mistake of only providing the most positive options. Give the students precise ways to react to the most positive and the most negative scenarios. By doing so, you are providing students with the tools they will need for all situations. For instance, in my "Can I Kiss You?" program, we role-play an "asking for a kiss" scene. We play it both ways (with the partner wanting the kiss and with the partner saying, "No"). By doing so, students have nothing to fear because they have learned how to handle both possibilities.

Plus, you will be much more credible with the students. If you don't prepare them for the tougher situations, they will get into those moments and feel lost. Once they feel lost, they may tell themselves that doing the "right thing" is too difficult or simply not realistic. We want to always help everyone make the "right" choice.

Student Research

One of the most common questions professionals on campus ask me is, 'How do you stay up-to-date on the way students talk, what they talk about, and what they are doing in their dating lives? Students really relate to the words you use in your presentation.' Research is the answer. Oh, not just the kind ofresearch most people think about. Yes, I do keep my eye out on new reports, studies, findings, and articles on trends and statistics effecting teenagers, young adults, healthy dating, and sexual assault. However, such information is often 'old' by the time it is released. Frequently, students have already shared 'it' with us way before the research is debated publicly. Yes, students are a wonderful resource for research.

Listening to students on your campus will teach you much of what you need to know (not everything). As social norming reveals, each community has different values, behaviors, and challenges. Discovering what YOUR students are thinking, watching, and listening to is the key. If you want to discover the 'why' behind behaviors of people, go to their sources of information (news, entertainment, and their own discussions between each other). Make yourself watch a few TV shows that students may be watching in their rooms. If you have cable, watch a few episodes of the shows containing high sexual content. A popular show among college students is 'Real Sex' -- a very explicit look at our sexual culture. Be warned: this show can be of Triple X level of sexual situations. Watching one episode will give you a feel of the information available to students today -- just from HBO.

Pay close attention to the messages they are receiving and ask yourself, 'What attracts students to this show?' Ask students what they like about certain shows, music, magazines, etc...Research your students trends by talking with them.